Buckle Up

I make no promises that you'll like what I say

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Attack of the Dust Chasers or Why I Will NOT Have a Maid

I may have an anxiety disorder, or I just might have a problem with strangers cleaning my house.  Per our lease agreement we have to have the house professionally cleaned once a year.  I don’t know about you but I somehow doubt normal people hide in their closet to avoid the cleaning people, but I could be wrong.  It's just that these women as nice as they are seemed totally judgmental about the cleanliness of my house.  I was hiding in my laundry room folding laundry when they worked in my bathroom putting down whatever chemicals they use.  Then I moved to my bedroom when they got too close for comfort and folded laundry in there.  Fiance had been working in the garage when he came in and we had the following conversation:

Fiance:  What are you doing?

Me: Folding clothes.

Fiance: Why are you folding clothes with that weird look on your face?

Me:  I'm hiding from the professional dust chasers.

Fiance: Why?

Me:  Because I can't stand their judgey stares of disapproval about our house.  I feel like I flunked a test or something.

Fiance:  They are just cleaning the house.

Me:  I can't explain it to you, it's just uncomfortable.

I don't think he was really complaining, just worried because it usually requires at least 3 requests from him to fold my laundry before I finally do it.  It's not exactly a priority.  Fiance thought it was terribly funny until it apparently wasn’t cute anymore to have your significant other truly bothered by the professional dust chasers to the point of actually pouting.

I was pouting because they messed with my desk and rearranged my office so they could clean.  They did this but didn’t put anything back where I had it.  I feel like my sister in law’s nutty fish that rearranges it’s tank if you move a pebble.  I’m not a hoarder so it’s not one of those things, but I have my own organizational style.  Controlled chaos, which works fine for me when it’s my chaos.  My house is clean which is great but now I have to find everything, which isn’t so great.  I think I might have had a minor anxiety attack because I doubt it is normal to have sharp pains in your chest in relation to a clean house.

Oh and by the way when the window washers did the windows yesterday a bird flew into the window.  It was like a real life Windex commercial! Poor bird.  It flew away so I guess it"s ok.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I Might Be A Super Nerd or Super Fan

So this is fucking awesome.  After stalking the mail carrier for the last two days (because Amazon could always be lying about how long it will take) I finally have the book that I have been waiting for.  But it’s not just a book, it’s awesome disguised as a book for it’s own protection. That’s right!  In my hot little hand I have a fresh from the presses hard copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) by the one and only Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess!!!  SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

There are very few things that I would wrestle an angry mob or threaten life and limb for.  The first would be fine Dark Chocolate like Godiva.  Seriously I would rip someone’s arm off and beat them to death with the bloody stump if they stole my chocolate and dispense with those pleasantries altogether if they actually ate it.  The second would be a good book especially if it is written by one of the funniest bloggers I have ever read.

That being said I will only hold off on reading this beauty until I have finished my damn term papers (because you have to be a responsible adult damn it, which means remembering to feed Frik and Frak probably wouldn’t be bad idea either since growing boys gotta eat too).  Besides it will be a lot better when I can sit down and relax with my book and Godiva.  Heaven help the person who dares disturb me, people could end up severely maimed or worse.